Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
