I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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