2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
