I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
