After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
