i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize