good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
