it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
