Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
