Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
