im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
