the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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