my mouth tastes like poor choices
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
