i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
