you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
