Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
