I am puke
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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