I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
