i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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