I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
