I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
