i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
