and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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