yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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