I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
