I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
