two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Randomize
