i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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