why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
