smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
