I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize