youre lurking in front of me
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
