there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
