Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
