she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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