i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
