Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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