apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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