Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
