Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
