I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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