So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
