I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
