it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
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Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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