you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There's always time for handjobs
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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