uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
