She is in my trunk
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
