So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
