you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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