Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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