Ambien. No doubt about it.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
