I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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