Nicole vs. Life
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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