physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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