shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
