Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
