dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
