I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
