i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
