So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
