He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
