i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize