If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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