sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
