Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
