Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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