glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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